Phone Calls
by RedSpark
Summary: Dawn thinks Buffy’s dating someone and tries to find out who. Time-wise takes place around Older and Far Away. B/S (implied).


Title: Phone Calls, Part 1/1  
  
Author: RedSpark  
  
Email: red_spark@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. It's all theirs (JW, ME, et al.)  
  
Summary: Dawn thinks Buffy's dating someone and tries to find out who. Time-wise takes place around Older and Far Away.  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Spoilers: General season 6, up to Older and Far Away  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Note: Any text enclosed in '*' is a thought. For example, *This is a thought.*  
  
* * * * *  
  
-Tuesday, late evening-  
  
  
  
Dawn slowly opened the door to Spike's crypt. Someone had oiled it, because it didn't make that horrible squeaking sound it usually did. She squinted in the gloom. The room was faintly lighted by the late afternoon sunshine coming through the windows. A few used candlesticks in battered holders were the only sign that someone lived here. Even the TV was gone. Dawn remembered it had been similarly spartan the last time she visited, and wondered again how Spike could live here… she knew he had more stuff than this. Unless the Initiative had destroyed everything. But they had left more than a year ago. She frowned and looked around again. Spike wasn't in the room, that was definite. He didn't lurk in the shadows around her, unlike around a certain older sis.  
  
*If he was here, he would in front of me right now, telling me to go away so's not to get him in anymore trouble with Buffy*  
  
Dawn smiled, remembering the last time she'd hung out here. Then her face took on a look of concentration, as she remembered something else from that day. Spike coming up from somewhere… a secret door. She peered around the room, trying hard to remember where it had been. A little to the left…almost straight in front… she walked forward over the dusty floor and stopped in front of an wide rectangular sarcophagus. Suddenly, her ears picked up on something…singing, coming from below the stone. Someone singing some horrible eighties-type song, from what she could make out. Not a bad voice though, deep and throaty. Dawn grinned at the thought. So, there was something down there.  
  
*Sewers entrance my ass* she thought as she shoved at the top stone. It gave way easier then she'd expected and she caught herself on the edge just in time to prevent a very clumsy tumble into Spike's secret lair. Because that, obviously, was what it was. She crept down the ladder, taking in the decorating...the candles…a large oriental rug. Dawn jumped down past the last few rungs and turned towards a partially obscured corner, where the singing seemed to originate. The TV to her right was silently playing one of the afternoon soap operas.  
  
Something suddenly struck Spike – he stopped singing and paused, hearing the faint murmur of a heart. And a female scent… He turned slowly towards the ladder, walking around the curtain, and softly called out, "Buff-?" Then paused, as he saw brown hair. "Nibblet?" He was surprised. She hadn't visited him here since, well…he grimaced. Times better forgotten.  
  
Dawn could almost feel Spike's vampiric senses tuning in and focusing as he felt the intruder. But she was surprised by his gentle voice – at least, gentle until he realized it was her. He smiled – a genuine smile – and started to come over. Then stopped, embarrassed, and Dawn's slower senses registered that his shirt was unbuttoned and wide open…and yes, he had a six-pack. She bit back a smile as he mumbled an apology and quickly buttoned up.  
  
"So, whatcha doing?" she asked cheerfully, but giving him a very interested look.  
  
"Huh?" The vampire looked a little distracted for a moment. "Just, uh, heating some dinner." He gestured at himself. "Sorry about the whole naked thing…you know…not used to underage company."  
  
Dawn was amused at the thought. She smiled what she thought was a self- assured smile and said, "I'm not that innocence, you know."  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow.  
  
"I'm not." Dawn insisted. Why did everyone see her as a six year old, not a sixteen year old? She crossed her arms. "I've done stuff."  
  
"Stuff?" Spike smiled in amusement.  
  
"Well, yeah, you know….stuff."  
  
The vampire laughed and turned towards the couches, gesturing for her to follow. He flopped down at one end and Dawn took the armchair next to him.  
  
"So, Lil' Bit…" he reached between the cushions, pulling out a pack, and lit one. Then he looked up at her and frowned slightly. "Are you sure you want to be telling me this? Maybe this is more one of those… big sis conversations."  
  
Dawn huffed. "Who said I was telling you anything? And besides," she added, snuggling into the cushion, "Buffy would totally freak if I tried to talk about anything of the sort. She still thinks of me as a ten-year-old, teasing her about getting cooties from the neighborhood boys we used to play with." She shrugged and looked back up at the attentive vampire. "Not that the memory is real, of course, but you get the point."  
  
Spike leaned forward. He was still a little confused where all of this was going, but he was starting to get the picture. "What about one of the superfriends? After all," he pointed out, "You're sort of a Scooby. Maybe one of the Wiccas – or Xander-"  
  
"I am NOT talking to Xander about this!" She made a face. "He's, he's a guy, and-"  
  
"Hey! I'm not wearing a skirt either, am I?!"  
  
The teen quickly backtracked. "What I meant was, well…" she twirled her hair around her finger and looked down at her lap. "I trust you," she said quietly.  
  
"You're not going to tell me I'm too young or pat me on the head or something."  
  
Spike leaned back and looked at her perceptively. "Gang not really into hanging with you much, huh?"  
  
Dawn fidgeted with her hands. "Yeah…that whole shop-lifting thing, and they all have other *important stuff* going on right now. Not so much into the hang-out-with-kid-sis since… not since Buffy got back."  
  
"Well, pet, I think you have the credentials to join the ex-patriate Scooby club, and you may consider this an official invit-"  
  
"Spike?" The voice was low and growly, and it came from the top floor of the crypt.  
  
Dawn frowned. A girl's voice? A girl coming to see Spike? Now this was interesting. The voice called again, higher-pitched and almost cooing. Almost like Buffy's voice, Dawn thought, but she would never, well, she thought Spike was icky. Or less icky now. But still. The teen looked over at Spike, who had a comical expression on his face as he glanced between her and the ladder.  
  
*Oh, shit* Spike tried to think of some way to avert the impending disaster but his brain was running at slow speed. Then it was too late as Buffy jumped through the hole and landed neatly on the floor. And froze. Spike had to hold back a chuckle; the deer-in-the-headlights look on the Slayer's face was too priceless.  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn was surprised. The teen stood up, arms still crossed. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Me? Uh, um, patrolling."  
  
Dawn looked down at the Slayer's outfit: a narrow-cut denim skirt and very white, very lacy shirt. "In that?!"  
  
Buffy managed to look offended. "What's wrong with my outfit?"  
  
"Well," Dawn walked closer and gave it a more appraising look, "it's not exactly…patrollable." She saw her sister's exasperated expression and continued, "I don't think you could get your foot above your knee in that skirt…although I'm sure the vamps would appreciate the view at the top."  
  
*Buffy blushes?* Dawn thought incredulously as her sister turned red.  
  
"Nibblet's right," Spike smirked, "Maybe you should change into something more…comfortable."  
  
Buffy glared at him, then turned back to Dawn. "I – I was thinking of going to the Bronze afterwards."  
  
"On a Tuesday??"  
  
"Well, yeah." Buffy sounded defensively. "Free pizza with every pitcher, you know me, can't pass up a good deal."  
  
"They have free wings on Wednesday," Spike volunteered.  
  
"What's a pitcher?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh-" Buffy looked at Spike, asking for help.  
  
"Uh…pitcher – picture, like a photograph. Bring in a picture, get a pizza."  
  
Dawn gave him her patented and-you-think-I'm-HOW-stupid look.  
  
"We'll tell you when you're older?" he suggested.  
  
"Yes," Buffy brightened, "I'll tell you when you're older- much older." Then she crossed her arms and looked directly at her sister. "And anyways, what were you doing here?"  
  
"Nothing!" the teen insisted defensively. "Just…talking." She saw the question start to form and added, "about stuff. None-of-your business stuff."  
  
Buffy frowned then grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the door. "You're sixteen. All of your stuff is my-business stuff."  
  
"Leaving so soon?" Spike was still standing behind the couch, watching the scene with amusement. "It's not even bed time yet." He raised his eyebrow at Buffy.  
  
The Slayer turned and hauled Dawn up the ladder.  
  
He heard the Nibblet call back "'Night Spike!" just before the cover slammed down, leaving his crypt eerily quiet. The vampire sighed and went back to heat some blood. He felt the urgings for an all-night Passions tapes marathon coming on.  
  
*  
  
"Please, do not tell me you still have a crush on Spike," Buffy ground out as the sisters walked home through the cemetery.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "I don't. I sort of got over that phase after the whole tying-you-up thing."  
  
"Tie- tying me up?"  
  
"Yeah, the whole 'Return of Drusilla, Spike goes a little psycho and ties you up and threatens to kill you' thing. But he only did it 'cause he liked you so much," Dawn said teasingly.  
  
"Oh. Right." Buffy was quiet for awhile, thinking over something.  
  
"'Sides, after the summer it's almost like he's my brother," Dawn went on. "Now that would just be weird, in a Shakespearian tragedy type of way. I think."  
  
"Uh-hmm," Buffy replied distractedly.  
  
*Great. A recently-risen-from-the-dead sister and a vampire brother. Not to mention the "friends of the family" include an ex-demon and two witches. Could we possibly make her life any weirder?* Then she thought about the "brother" and groaned quietly. *Yep, it's possible.*  
  
* * * * *  
  
-Wednesday, afternoon-  
  
  
  
Dawn got home late the next day. She had stayed late at school to finish some mandatory extra-credit lab assignment, and then stopped by the magic shop on the way home. Anya was ecstatic because a new shipment of spell supplies had finally come in. While Tara helped the ex-demon carefully unpack and inspect each and every carton, Dawn and Xander hung out, having been forbidden to touch the glass jars. Xander had apparently been responsible for a nasty spill of newt's eyes the week before and he was still in the doghouse.  
  
She walked in the house, threw her book bag on the sofa, and shouted hi to Buffy in the kitchen, then headed upstairs for some chill time.  
  
A few minutes later the phone rang. Dawn jumped up and was running out her door when she heard Buffy answer it.  
  
*Great, now she's going to tell my friend that I'm too busy slaving away for whatever fun they've planned, and-*  
  
"You're calling me on the phone??" Buffy was asking incredulously. A pause, then "Well, yeah, I've heard of pay phones. I just don't understand why you're using one."  
  
Dawn perched at the top of the stairs and opened her ears.  
  
"To call- but why are you calling me? Has something happened?" Her sister was quiet for a moment.  
  
"Oh, that. No, she didn't notice anything. No matter how obvious you were making it."  
  
Another pause, while Dawn imagined the person on the other end of the line protesting. Then Buffy's voice dropped into a ridiculous womanly tenor, and, as if she were imitating someone, said "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable."  
  
Her voice rose again, and Dawn sensed the beginning of a Buffy tirade. "Hello to insinuation! Why didn't you just come over and grab my ass or something? And- and-"  
  
Dawn swore she could almost hear the caller trying to argue back over the phone, but they lost and Buffy continued. "And bed time?! Please! That's lame, even for you."  
  
The teen frowned. What the hell was she talking about? And who was this caller? He sounded…well, Buffy sounded… as if he was boyfriendy. She wouldn't talk to any of the Scoobies like that. Hmm…something to find out about, in her usually sneaky ways. Dawn stood up and headed back into her bedroom to consider her plan, missing the last part of the conversation.  
  
*  
  
-From Buffy's POV-  
  
"No, I'm not going out to patrol tonight."  
  
"Fine. Then why don't you pretend to patrol and while you're at it, stop by a certain crypt just to be sure there aren't any big bads lurking around. Causing trouble and the like."  
  
"Gee, then I might accidentally run into you, Sp-" Buffy lowered her voice, remembering Dawn was upstairs. "As in, run into with a stake. Doesn't sound like a very pleasant evening, does it?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know," the vampire said casually. "There must be something kinky we could do with it…"  
  
Buffy groaned. Now she would have that thought running through her head. "Goodbye, Spi- goodbye." She hung up the phone.  
  
* * * * *  
  
-Wednesday, evening-  
  
  
  
"So, whatcha doing tonight?" Dawn asked carefully as she piled some instant mashed potatoes on her plate.  
  
Buffy shrugged. "No plans. Pass the potatoes please?" She held out her hands.  
  
"Really?" Dawn smiled to herself. *Time for phase one of the plan*. She gave Buffy her best little sis smile of adoration, and said, "Well, if you're not busy, I was thinking," she suggested shyly, "We could hang out. Have, like, a big-lil' sis night."  
  
"A big-lil' sis night?" Buffy looked at the teen over the top of the potato bowl. *What's gotten into her?*  
  
She smiled back. "Sure, that sounds fun. Only thing is…" She trailed off, looking serious.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do we have enough Ben N' Jerry's to last us for the night?"  
  
Dawn sighed in relief. "Affirmative. Already checked. "  
  
"Great!" Buffy poured a pile of pepper on her potatoes. "Dinner, dishes, homework-" Dawn groaned- "and then, we will have a night o' fun."  
  
* * * * *  
  
-Wednesday, late night-  
  
  
  
"Ugh!" Dawn lay back on the rug next to Buffy and two empty containers of Phish Food ice cream. "I think the fudge fish are swimming around in my stomach." She poked at her protruding belly. "Swim, my pretties, swim!"  
  
Buffy rolled halfway over. "Is that really necessary?"  
  
In answer Dawn poked at the Slayer's own belly, sticking out. Buffy groaned and rolled back. "So," she said to the ceiling, "we've watched two girly movies, we've demolished the ice cream… anything we've forgotten from the official girls' night guide?"  
  
"Only one thing," Dawn answer cheerfully. "A gossip session!"  
  
Buffy groaned. *Should've seen this coming* "But that's not fair!" she tried to protest. "I'm older so, so, I inherently have more gossip than you."  
  
Dawn leaned over. "And I'm younger, so I have much more to learn from gossip." She sat up and pulled herself on to the couch. Buffy groaned again and fell on the other end of the couch, pulling a pillow over her aching stomach.  
  
"How does this work exactly?" The blond asked.  
  
"Hmm…there aren't any strict guidelines… so why don't we do the you-ask-a- question, I-ask-a-question deal?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Sounds fair. I'll even let you start."  
  
"Alright." *I need to start out slow…lure her into a sense of being safe.* "First kiss."  
  
Buffy smiled. She could handle this. "Easy. Josh Roberts. Third grade."  
  
Dawn looked as if she wanted to protest the legality of that answer, then decided to let it go.  
  
"My turn. Yours."  
  
"First kiss? Well…if we're playing by your rules…then it would be Aaron Stanford. Also third grade." Dawn smiled in satisfaction. "Ok, first real kiss."  
  
Buffy crossed her legs under her. "Dave Carners. Eighth grade." She looked firmly at Dawn. "It counts! We went out on dates and everything…with his parents, but we were definitely considered a couple by middle-school terms. We held hands and everything." She looked questioningly at Dawn.  
  
The teen looked down and said quietly, "Justin." She smiled slightly. "It was nice…until the teeth and lumpies came out…" Buffy reached over and hugged her.  
  
After a moment Dawn's head came up, and Buffy swore there was a new ...evil…glint there. "How many boys have you kissed- really kissed. Grown- up kissed."  
  
"Easy. Four." *Oops.* As soon as she saw Dawns nose scrunch up in concentration Buffy knew she'd slipped. *No biggy, right?.*  
  
Then she looked at Dawn again. Well, maybe she should distract her a little bit from those thoughts…  
  
"So, how far did you go with Justin?" Buffy asked pleasantly with a patented mom look.  
  
Dawn came out of her reverie and Buffy enjoyed watching her squirm for a moment. "Uhh… first base?" she guessed, and seeing that her sis looked satisfied, launched into her burning question. "So, who are the four guys that you've really kissed." Now it was her turn to watch some squirming.  
  
"Umm… Angel… Riley… Parker…" She saw Dawn's eye light up with interest. "Parker, who was long ago and who you are definitely not hearing about until you are older, and …umm… Uh…Xander?"  
  
"Xander?!" Dawn gave her a look of total disbelief. "No way. No WAY." Buffy was definitely lying, she knew that face. "Does Anya know about this??" She relented when she realized how red Buffy's face was. "Ok, ok, your turn."  
  
The older sister screwed up her face in concentration, then smiled triumphantly. "Who are the guys that you've had a crush on?"  
  
"ALL of them??" Dawn exclaimed.  
  
"Ok, from the past, uh, two years who are the guys that you've had a crush on."  
  
"Xander, Spike, and Justin. My turn." The brunette looked directly at Buffy. "Last person you had a date with."  
  
*Gotcha!* She thought, as Buffy blushed again. But then the blond smiled with relief and answered, "Richard."  
  
"What? That SO does not count!"  
  
"It was a set-up! A blind date!"  
  
"A birthday party does not qualify as a date of any sort. It was, like, a meeting…a get-acquainted meeting."  
  
Buffy crossed her arms and looked stonily at her sister. "It. Was. A. Date."  
  
Dawn nodded wisely. "So, has he asked you out again?"  
  
Buffy opened her mouth to answer but caught herself. "Nice try. My turn."  
  
*Dammit. I'm way too out of practice for this. Think…dirty questions… uhh… sex… way too young…bases…covered that…boys at school…not applicable… crushes… Spike…bet Spike would be good at this…mmm…like some other things he's good at…this is really not helping…*  
  
She brought her head up. "Which, uh, movie star do you wish you could kiss?" She put her head back in her hands.  
  
*Movie star? How lame was that?!*  
  
*Movie star?? She's really starting to suck at this.* Dawn smiled. *Time for phase two.*  
  
"Ok, movie star. Brad Pitt."  
  
"He's married."  
  
"Fine. Ryan Phillipe."  
  
"Married with a kid."  
  
"FINE. Clark Gable."  
  
"He's- wait, he's dead." Buffy wrinkled her nose. "And he's icky."  
  
Dawn shrugged. "Didn't specify. My turn." She sat up straight up and smiled sweetly. "Who were you talking to on the phone earlier?"  
  
Her sister looked puzzled. "Right after I came home from school…I was upstairs, the phone rang, you answered." Dawn smirked as she remembered. "I can repeat the conversation if you want. To refresh your memory." Buffy turned a deep scarlet red.  
  
"You were listening to my conversation?!"  
  
"Hello… you were in the kitchen. Not the most private place to have one."  
  
Buffy didn't look satisfied. "What, too much trouble to close your door?"  
  
Dawn stuck out her lip. "It's a free house. I can go where I want when I want. I wasn't aware there was a phone curfew."  
  
She grinned and leaned forward. "Wait, you haven't answered my question yet." She smugly settled back against the couch arm.  
  
Buffy looked at her younger sister, and it suddenly dawned on her. "That's it!" she exclaimed, sitting up and pointing. "That's what this," she gestured, "this game is all about. You trying to pry into my private life!" She softened as she saw the hurt expression on Dawn's face. "I'm sorry. I know I haven't been around much for this sort of thing. But, well, if you really wanted to know, why didn't you just ask me?"  
  
Dawn raised an eyebrow at her. "Would you have told me?"  
  
The Slayer paused. *No way in hell.* "Well, maybe, uh…"  
  
The teen smiled and said with confidence, "Well, now you're bound by the rules of the game to tell me… under penalty of, uh, doing all the housework for a month."  
  
"A MONTH?"  
  
Dawn gave her a hurt look. "This game is about trust."  
  
"What, telling people secrets and trusting them to keep them?" Buffy asked skeptically. But she saw the stubborn look on Dawn's face and knew that she would never, ever, hear the end of it until she gave in. She sighed. "Ok." Dawn scooted closer.  
  
"On the phone today…I was talking to…M…Mike. Who is a very nice guy that I met at…that I know from high school. We just…ran into each other at the Bronze, and, and that is it. No big secret." She hugged her sister, then stood up and yawned. "Wow, look at the time…time for bed time…" She was relieved when Dawn didn't argue and followed her upstairs.  
  
"'Night, Dawnie."  
  
"Night."  
  
* * * * *  
  
-Thursday, afternoon-  
  
"Hi Xander!"  
  
"Hey Dawnster!" Xander smiled as the girl almost bounced into the store. It had obviously been a very good day in Dawnland. "What's shakin'?"  
  
"Not much." She put her bag in the pack and came over to help him with the new inventory. Anya had finally realized how valuable and timesaving free labor could be. Xander handed her some jars to label and price.  
  
"Sooo…you guys going to the Bronze tonight?"  
  
Xander looked up in mild surprise. "Weren't planning on it. Thursday is usually kind of a dead day, everyone saving up their party spirits for the weekend."  
  
Dawn nodded. "So you guys went there last weekend."  
  
He blinked, trying to remember. "I think so." A bunch more jars were set down for labeling. "Why do you ask?" An eyebrow waggled. "Anybody in particular you were wondering was there?"  
  
The teen smiled happily. "Actually, yes. I just wanted to know if you've met Mike yet."  
  
"Mike?"  
  
"You know, Buffy's new sort-of boyfriend." She saw his confused and added, "well, I don't know if they're official boy-girl friend yet, or if they've even kissed," she grimaced at the image of her big sis doing…that, "but they seemed really friendly on the phone yesterday."  
  
"Really? That friendly?" He grinned at her. Then quickly checked around the deserted store and called out, "Hey An, did you know Buffy has a boyfriend?"  
  
Anya and Tara looked up from their perch behind the cash register. Tara looked almost shocked.  
  
The ex-demon just looked surprised, and shook her head. "I still don't understand what was wrong with Richard. Well," she insisted, "besides the somewhat rude comments he made at the end. He had nice arms, and an agreeable face, and his voice was pleasant to talk to. He would have given her many orga-"  
  
"Alright, so that's a no." Xander turned towards Tara. "Did you know?"  
  
The witch looked flustered and started fiddling with the counter in front of her. "Well, I, I, knew…"  
  
He looked almost hurt. "I wish she'd told me. I mean…she trusted you enough to know," he said softly.  
  
"And you're not – you're happy – that she's dating him?"  
  
Xander shrugged. "I'm happy that's she getting back out into that big scary world of dating. Although in Sunnydale the scary part tends to be a little too literal."  
  
The witch laughed. "That explains Spike alright."  
  
"Huh?" Xander was back to being confused. "What does Spike have to do with Buffy dating?"  
  
It was Tara's turn to look puzzled. "I-I thought, well Buffy told me that- "  
  
"That she's dating someone named Mike," Dawn finished. She was getting impatient. The Scooby Gang was obviously NOT in the loop on this one, and she didn't want waste valuable sleuth time doing volunteer work at the Magic Box.  
  
"Oops! Look at the time. I have a lab group meeting I need to get to. It was fun. Bye!" She pushed the jars back over towards Xander, grabbed her bag, and ran out.  
  
"Soo…Buffy dating…" Xander went over and put his arm around Anya, "I wonder who this Mike is?"  
  
"Right. Me too," Tara said, trying not to faint about what she'd almost let slip. *But 'Mike'? Couldn't she have been a little more creative??*  
  
* * * * *  
  
Buffy pointed to the stack of frozen dinners in the freezer. "The instructions are on the box. Just throw it in the microwave, easy as pie- well, pie is probably more complicated." She closed the freezer door and grabbed her Doublemeat hat off the counter. "Just don't eat the mac and cheese one, ok? It's my favorite."  
  
She hugged Dawn and walked out of the kitchen towards the front door. "I have a long shift tonight, so I won't be home until late-late. When you should be in bed." The last sentence was accompanied by a stern look.  
  
Dawn nodded and watched her leave, then grabbed her bag and threw a few stakes in it. Time to go see someone.  
  
* * * * *  
  
-Thursday, evening-  
  
As soon as she stepped in the crypt, Dawn heard the sound of very dramatic, very bad dialogue. *He's watching Passions again?* She came down the ladder, not very quietly, and without turning around Spike called out hello to her.  
  
"Hey Spike."  
  
She walked over and flounced on the couch next to him. On the screen, a middle-aged woman was, well, getting it on with what looked like a model posing as a pool boy.  
  
"EW! He's not really going to do it with her, is he??" Spike looked at her in annoyance.  
  
"This isn't a PG-rated crypt, you know."  
  
Dawn snorted. "You can say that again."  
  
He looked at her with suspicion. "What do you know." It sounded like a challenge.  
  
"Well," Dawn turned and faced him down the length of the couch. "I know about the Drusilla thing, when you tied up Buffy." She rolled her eyes. "Even I could tell you that wasn't the brightest idea in the world."  
  
Spike almost looked embarrassed for a second. "Yeah, well, I wasn't exactly thinking straight at the time."  
  
"Nope, I would say definitely your brain was doing loop-de-loops or something crazy," Dawn agreed. "And I know that you and Harmony used to hang out together."  
  
"'Hang out'?"  
  
"Do you really want me to be more explicit?"  
  
The vampire groaned and fumbled for his cigarettes. "We're not going to return to that thankfully-short-lived conversation from the other day." He pulled out his lighter, lit, and took a long drag. "'Cause really, this girl talk thing, is well…"  
  
"Embarrassing?" Dawn suggested helpfully, and giggled at his relieved expression.  
  
"Yes! Embarrassing…no offense, Nibblet, I'd love to chat with you. Just not about, uh…"  
  
"Boys? Kissing? Sex?" This time she was sure he cringed, and she laughed out loud.  
  
"Yes…thanks ever so for sparing me the embarrassment," he muttered sarcastically. He wasn't sure which bothered him more- that he was embarrassed, or that she, the Slayer's little sis, had been the one to make him so.  
  
"No problem." Dawn turned back to the TV, where (thankfully) the pool boy and mom had been replaced by two attractive blonds. "Besides, Buffy and I already had a girls talk last night."  
  
"Oh really," the vamp turned to her. "So what did you girls talk about?"  
  
Dawn grinned. "Stuff. Things-we-don't-tell-other-people stuff." She laughed again at the vampire's scowl. "Sorry, them's the rules." She started to watch Passions again, when she remembered her mission. "But, there may be one thing I can tell you."  
  
"Oh yeah?" Spike looked at her skeptically. "And why would I want to know it?"  
  
"It's juicy gossip," the teen grinned. Spike turned fully towards her now, Passions completely forgotten.  
  
"Let's hear it then."  
  
Dawn sat back and put on her bargaining face. "Well, every piece of information comes at a price."  
  
The vampire laughed. He couldn't believe she was trying to extort money for gossip.  
  
She pushed on. "I have this info, but I need some help to…figure it out. So, if I tell you, you have to help me do that. Deal?"  
  
Spike nodded and tried to look serious. "Alright, it's a deal." Dawn spit on her hand and held it out. He grimaced. "But there is no way I am doing a spit and shake. Are you out of your mind, girl?"  
  
She shrugged and scooted closer. "Ok, so here's the info. Buffy's dating someone."  
  
The vampire looked stunned for a moment, then snorted in disbelief. "No way."  
  
"Yes way!"  
  
"No way. You have a poor piece of information." He tried to look dignified as he said it.  
  
"Uh-uh. This is straight from the source itself. Very deep throat." She paused. "Ok, pretend I didn't just say that last part."  
  
Spike stood and paced in front of the couch. He seemed agitated about something. Suddenly he stopped and his eyes flashed as he looked at Dawn.  
  
"So who is this chap?"  
  
"Mike."  
  
His face froze for a moment, then he burst out laughing. "Mike, eh?"  
  
"Yessss." Dawn sat clueless, annoyed that she wasn't in on the joke. Unless…  
  
"So, you know this Mike."  
  
"Huh?" He came out of his little cloud of mirth.  
  
"You know who this Mike guy is? 'Cause Buffy wasn't very helpful on the details part."  
  
He looked conflicted. *Would it be funnier to pretend I know him, or not?*  
  
"I've heard of the fellow."  
  
"Oh?" Dawn crossed her arms, striking a very Buffy, very no-nonsense pose.  
  
Spike perched on the arm of the couch. "But if you want to know more about this bloke, best to right back to the source."  
  
She looked puzzled. "No way is Buffy spilling. She'll just walk away or something."  
  
"Well…" Spike pretended to glance at a watch, "unless she's on her break, there's no way she can walk away right now." He grinned at Dawn, and she laughed and almost hugged him.  
  
"Perfect," she beamed. "I'm feeling a little hungry, aren't you?"  
  
"Famished."  
  
* * * * *  
  
-Thursday, evening, twenty minutes later-  
  
  
  
"So that's two doublemeat double value meals with one coke, one orange soda, one doublemeat kids meal with hamburger, no pickles, no ketchup, no nothing, one doublemeat BLT and a doublemeat single serving shake with two straws." Buffy neatly stacked the meals on a tray, careful to keep it out of the reach of the hyperactive twins who were trying to climb on the counter. She smiled at the mom. "Enjoy your meal."  
  
As soon as her back was turned, Buffy leaned her elbows on the register and glanced hopefully at the clock. Fifteen minutes until break. She laid her head on her hands and peaked through her fingers at the restaurant. The tables were wiped, the floor was clean- well, relatively- and the place was almost cleared out.  
  
*Working nights may be boring, but at least it's quiet* she thought optimistically as she peered at the clock again. Almost –  
  
"Hello, cutie."  
  
Buffy looked up. "Spike? Dawn??" The two of them looked very innocent as they stood there. Except for the boasting smile on her sister's face and a very evil smirk on the vamp's. Buffy swallowed. This was not good. The two of them turned to look at each other, and Spike raised an eyebrow. Dawn nodded in approval and they simultaneously turned back to face her.  
  
"What can I get for ya?" Buffy asked with fake cheer, hoping- really hoping- they were just there for food.  
  
"Well…" Spike looked up and thoughtfully considered the menu for a few seconds, before giving her a direct stare. "Nibblet has a few questions for you."  
  
"Oh?" Buffy gave him her "Oh, please" look. "And what are you, the secretary to take the answers?"  
  
"Hardly." He did that tongue thing . "I'm the muscle."  
  
"Muscle?" She ran her eyes over his chest.  
  
"The strong arm. The fist behind the, uh, mind. Answer her, or answer to me." He grinned at her cockily.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and, deciding to ignore him, turned to Dawn. "What's up?"  
  
The little sister smiled sweetly. "Who's Mike?"  
  
Buffy stared blankly at her. "I thought I- I did tell you. Last night? Gossip Session? Embarrassing questions?"  
  
*don't look at Spike don't look at Spike don'tlookatSpike.*  
  
"Well," Dawn explained, putting on her best intelligent-perplexed face, "You told me his name and some minor, very not useful details. You know him from high school, you met at the Bronze, so that includes pretty much every social person around our age in Sunnydale." She grimaced. "And that's a lot ."  
  
"Actually…" Spike leaned against the counter and look at Buffy with amusement, wearing the trademark smirk, "Sounds like pretty good clues to me, luv. If you know where to look."  
  
"Really, Spike? 'Cause you seem pretty clueless about the trouble this Sherlock Holmes gig is going to make …for you." The look in her eyes left him in no doubt of the punishment that would be inflicted.  
  
*Sod it, a few days of early nights is worth it to watch the Slayer squirm. And I never knew she could blush that much.*  
  
He snickered to himself, ignoring the stare of death from Buffy. Then he had a brilliant idea.  
  
"Say, maybe if you describe him to us, we can go off on our merry way and find him ourselves, and you can get back to flipping your burgers."  
  
"Yeah! So, what's he look like, Buffy?" Dawn was waay too excited.  
  
"Look like?" the Slayer repeatedly dumbly.  
  
"Yeah, you know, hair, eyes, abs…all the important spots."  
  
"Thank you, Spike. I think I can manage on my own." Buffy thought hard. "He has…brown hair."  
  
Dawn nodded. "Brown."  
  
"And his eyes are, are-" she glanced at Spike, expecting him – for some unexplainable reason- to help her out. He just waggled his eyebrows. "I don't know the color of his eyes," she announced.  
  
Dawn looked at her doubtfully.  
  
"Well, I, I don't. I only met him at the Bronze that one time, and it's really too dark in there to see anything. And that restaurant we went to on our date-" she saw Spike mouth the word 'date?' to her as if she completely gone off the rocker-"the restaurant was all mood lighting and very dark and, so, I don't know. In fact, I can't be too sure about his hair color either. Could be a dark red for all I know."  
  
Puzzled, Dawn leaned on the counter and looked at her, "But you went to high school together, right? So wouldn't you know from that? And you must have seen his eyes when you, you know," she flapped her hands around, "when you kissed."  
  
"Oohhh, you kissed," Spike said sweetly. It sounded very disturbing coming from him. "And how was that for you?"  
  
"Very nice," she said softly, avoiding his eyes.  
  
Dawn huffed. They weren't getting anywhere fast. "So what I have so far is dark or possibly red hair and a good kisser." She stood up. "What about his height? And build? Is he big or small?" Spike burst out laughing and Dawn clamped her hand over her mouth. *Oops.* Buffy stared at them both, mortified.  
  
At that moment, the fates decided to intervene.  
  
Sort of.  
  
*  
  
"Looks like this is the place to be," Xander sang out as the Scooby Gang walked toward the counter. "Dawnster." He nodded to her. "And- Spike. How's it hanging?" Dawn tittered and he looked at her confusedly.  
  
"Inside joke, mate," the vamp offered, not wanting to return to the topic.  
  
"So, Buffy," Anya came directly to the counter, "We heard that you found your own special friend." She looked almost pouty. "I hope he is attractive as Richard."  
  
"Daawwwwn." The teen turned to face a very serious Buffy stare. "Just how many people did you mention our top secret, very very private, conversation to?"  
  
"Oh, don't worry," Anya spoke up cheerfully. "She only told all of us, and we're your friends, right?"  
  
"Maybe it's time to come out, Buffy."  
  
The Slayer looked into the crowd. "Tara?" The Wicca nodded. "Are you suggesting…what I think you're suggesting?"  
  
Under the force of the Buffy stare, the witch backed off a bit, but still replied, "Y-yes, I am. It's time."  
  
*It most certainly is not the time!* Two blonds thought at once.  
  
"Umm… um…" Buffy stalled, willing her brain to come up with something at least semi-convincing. "Well, the truth is, there is no Mike." She looked around at the gang, putting on her best lost puppy face. "I was just…sort of…ashamed to say I haven't really dated anyone in the year since Reilly left. I mean, it's weird being a singleton."  
  
"So Mike is just made-up?" Xander looked like he was trying hard – and failing – to process it. Anya, standing next to him, was nodding as if this was the truth she had suspected all along. Tara looked understanding. Spike just looked amused by it all. And Dawn-  
  
"Dawnie, I'm sorry." Buffy reached across to hug her. "I didn't realize it would get this out of hand." She smiled down at her. "I guess I just didn't want to sound so pathetic. Kinda backfired, huh?"  
  
"That's okay, I forgive you." The brunette squeezed her tightly.  
  
"Time for your break, Buffy!" Sophie announced as she dutifully took her place behind the counter. "Hey! The whole gang is here! What can I get for you?"  
  
The gang traded glances as they slowly backed away. "See ya Buffy!" "Bye!" "See you later!" "So long, Slayer."  
  
"What was that all about?" Sophie asked.  
  
"Oh, nothing," Buffy yawned. "I'm going to power nap, wake me in twenty?"  
  
"Sure. Oh, and hey," Buffy turned around. "I heard you're dating someone. When do I get to meet him?!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
1 Epilogue  
  
-The following week, evening-  
  
  
  
"You're calling me on the phone?? "  
  
Dawn's ears perked up.  
  
"You know, I'm starting to think you get turned on by this-"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"No, not here-"  
  
"I'm in the kitchen, bleach brain. No doors, very open, kitchen."  
  
"So call me back. Give me a few minutes to get upstairs and, uh…"  
  
A low laugh.  
  
"Alright. Bye."  
  
The sound of footsteps came running up the stairs. They paused by her door, as if debating, then continued on. Dawn smiled and waited quietly until Buffy's door was shut, then she crept out and went downstairs to sit by the phone. And not a moment too soon. Thirty seconds later it rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
A low male voice seductively greeted her. "Hello, Buffy."  
  
Dawn frowned. Was that an English accent? Uh…oh..my…  
  
"Who is this?" she shrieked into the phone.  
  
"DAWN??" she thought she heard some swearing in the background.  
  
*calm down calm down calm down*  
  
"Dawn, uh, dear, it's, uh, Rupert. Gi- Giles. Could you please, er, put Sl- put Buffy on the phone please?"  
  
He sounded a little off but the nervous stammering was all Giles. Dawn took pity on him. "Hold on, I'll get her." She shouted up the stairs and waited for her sister to pick up, then hung the receiver and sat there, holding her head.  
  
*Giles? Buffy and Giles? Giles and Buffy?*  
  
*baaaaad images*  
  
*maybe I should go see what Spike's up to…*  
  
She grabbed her bag and headed out towards his crypt.  
  
  
  
The End. 


End file.
